Every Girl's Crazy About a Sharp Dressed Man.

We have nothing against you. Hell, some of us are one block away from taking a seat right next to you.

Of course, we'll all be wearing Brooks Brothers suits -- maybe a pinstripe with a baby blue dress shirt, burgundy shoes and a silk tie. We all have a skin like this in our closets for special occassions: Weddings, funerals, strip bars.

That's how we are though. Always trying to keep up appearances.

Thanks for the honesty though. It's very refreshing. Now please move along. You're blocking the view of our mismanaged perceptions.

Excuse Me, There's Acceptance Floating in My Beer

I used to love this place. There's a picture of me above the bar. I'm smiling, holding a beer to the camera: "Look Ma, One Hand!" I'm secretly wondering if the person next to me knows what I'm really thinking.

There's a bust (Patrick himself I assume) hanging on the wall. From five feet away it looks like aged copper. From five inches away it's nothing more than cheap plastic.

Betty drinks Guinness. Betty doesn't even like Guinness. It's St. Patrick's Day though, so Betty has to drink Guinness.

The band has been playing the same song for eight years--something about an Irishman drinking too much and walking in on his wife who's sleeping with a man who's leaving on a boat to catch fish that aren't there while his brother toils in a mine for the coal that keeps the power on that feeds the amps plugged into the wall so the band can play their four hour song.

A girl dances on stage. She's doing a jig, only she really doesn't know how to do a jig. She knows how to jump up and down though and I assume she took karate at some point because she sure can kick! She's with the band. I know because she made a point of telling me this. Three times.

So, she can stay and I'm not allowed to punch her.

Drink Responsibly. Those Who Like it Like It A Lot. Know When To Say When. Brewed With Passion Since 1767. Arrive Alive. I Am Canadian. Seems the owners have all the angles covered.

I used to love this place. Where's the cheque?

Two Out, Bottom of the Ninth. (For Dizzy)

When I was seven,
Johnny Palmer hit
- my little sister in the head with a baseball bat.

Because I was seven,
I hit Johnny Palmer
- with a barrage of kicks and punches.

It was my first job interview.

Take Two and I'll See You In the Morning

Excerpt

Two blue pills. One white paper cup. A giant man with a white beard. Funny how it's come down to this...

- What are these?

- Librium.

- What are they for?

- They should help you sleep. Hopefully prevent seizures.

- Seizures? I've never had a seizure in my fucking life.

- How would you know? You've been sedated for ten years. Besides, one more night won't hurt. And watch the language. It's time you learned the language of the heart.

Two blue pills. One white paper cup. A big gulp at base camp.

- Get some rest. You'll need your energy. You an athletic man, Matt?

- I dunno, I suppose. Played baseball 'til I was fourteen. Hockey 'til 18. Why?

- Well tomorrow you start climbing. Get some rest.

- Climbing? To where?

- Who knows? But if you don't start climbing, you're going to die.

- Who are you?

- I'm Jack. Think of me as your guide. Now sleep.

Two 60 watt bulbs. One white switch. Sadly, it's come down to this...

Friday, June 16th. 7:42 PM

Extra large.
Two cream, one sugar.
That's where I'll find some clarity.
(Really, I have things to do.)

First I'll stop at the pharmacist.
Ask to see the Mad Russian.
Maybe he'll provide me with some answers.
(Really, I have plans to keep.)

If he's not available,
I'll knock on the laughing pirate's door.
Ask him if he can can still see the future with one eye.

(Really, I have ideas to tinker with.)

But first someone wants to talk to me,
He whispers so He sends Mary.
Her message is simple; her delivery violent.
(Really, I need to be somewhere.)

When one door closes, another one opens.

Annabelle ( You're Going to Die of Cancer)

I saw a woman once,
In the smoking lounge at Logan.

She was sipping on a martini,
Nervously eyeing the departures
and smoking Capri 100s down to the filter.

I was sure she left teeth marks in the butt,
And I questioned whether I would let her
entertain me orally.

At H16, I boarded my flight for Detroit.
She was going to Miami.

God I hate airports.