Hamburger Hal is a seventy-four year old transient transexual. His biggest claim to fame is having shared a fifth with Jack Kerouac in the early 1980's. I know this is complete bullshit because Jack died long before that and even if he had lived until the 80's he wouldn't have shared air, let along wine, with a transient transexual. I believe this despite the homerotic undertones on every page of On the Road.
Marie is a giant of a women - 5'10" if she was a foot. She sits alone in the corner during meals absently twirling her greasy brown hair with one porky finger, coughing and humming the theme to the Brady Bunch as if, somehow, the entire fucked up family will show up at the front doors some sunny Sunday and ask her to join the bunch on a special episode. I figure they'll call it: A Very Brady Bipolar Christmas or something like that.
To be continued....
