Guests at the Plainview Hotel are limited to two options when they begin their day. The first? Stay in bed, read pages 62-78 of the Book and think about who you are, what you've done. Where you're going and how the hell you're going to get there comes later.
I hate the Book. I don't know who I am, I can't remember what I've done, I don't know where I'm going and how to get there is a mystery to me.
The other option is to get up and eat breakfast - usually some fruit, cereal, OJ, coffee and two little blue pills that are beginning to have less and less effect on me. I can enjoy a morning walk, chat with other guests and decide which woman I'll sleep with when she finally realizes I'm not sick and I'm here by mistake.
It's the walks I like the most. Sometimes Jack joins me. Sometimes we walk in silence. Listening to nothing but nothingness. Mostly though, we talk.
Matt... you're the most self-centred, egotistitcal, sick man I've ever met. I've seen thousands like you. Thousands! You are the sickest I've ever seen. If I were a wolf I could smell the fear seeping from your pores. Just like I could smell the booze on your skin the day you walked in here. You're lucky to be alive, Matt. Lucky. How do you think you got here?
What do you mean how did I get here?! My sister piled me into a car, drove me here and dropped me off.
You arrogant SOB! You drove your car three hours up the highway in a blackout! Who do you think was driving that night? You?! You need to start believing Matt. Otherwise, you're going to leave here in 22 days and walk right into a bar. You're going to drink. You're going to use. You're going to die. I told you the day we met that I loved you. That I would be your guide. I meant every word of it. Who do you think creates that kind of love? Mankind? No! We hate and kill and maim. That's what we do! And we smile when we do it.
What are you saying Jack? That I should believe in God? Who says I don't believe in God? I never once said that! Not once! I just can't believe He cares about any of this! Like His little experiment went awry and he's just seeing how it plays out. War, diseases, famine, drought, children being raped by the very people they should trust! I could go on and on! What's it all about! I believe in God. You bet I do! Just not the loving, benevolent God I was taught about.
You see Jack? I figured this shit out a long time ago! I know God! I see Him everyday. Do you know what I think Jack?
No, Matt. Enlighten me. Why don't you, in all your infinite wisdom and 31 years of deep experience, tell me what you think.
God is a Monster, Jack. A fucking monster.
Well at least you believe in something, Matt. It's a beginning. I want to ask you a favour though. Just for today look at the beauty. We'll talk in the morning.
